Let's Go Global!

One of the frustrations I have with my job is that my students' parents do not participate in school activities. I believe that this is, largely, because they don't know what is happening around school. A friend recently suggested asking our international school for help with translated documents. Since they have translators on staff, I hoped that they would share- and they did!  I am including the signage for school locations in a link, here, so that anyone who wants can use them! The languages included are Arabic, Somali, Burmese and Karen. I am hoping that I can enlist other parents to supply other languages as well- although we have 26 and that might be tough to squeeze onto an 8.5 x 11 sheet of paper!

Translated Signage

A Birthday Miracle For Me!

Short and sweet- I got a beautifully handwritten letter from Zack today. It read:

Dear Mom,
      Hi Mom. You have worked so hard to get me to Gow. I appreciate all the things you have done for me. It was a struggle, I know, but look what's come from it. I'm writing in cursive. Mom, I really want to say thank you and Happy Birthday.

Love,
Zack
xoxo

Seriously??? Everything is spelled correctly -and it's in cursive- AND it's legible!  THAT is why I worked so hard to get him to Gow, folks. Our boy is getting the right education- and it's worth every penny.

http://www.indiegogo.com/ZackGow (4 days left- please contribute if you can!)

Hello, 2012-2013 School Year!

     We have all survived the opening of a new school year- yay! Here's the breakdown:

       Zack:

• He and his roommate are the veterans, and ninth graders in a 7th/8th grade dorm, so he is feeling like the big man on campus. 
• He has so much confidence, has opinions about teaching styles and is excited about the content (well, some of it, anyway.)
• He even ran for 9th grade class representative for the Student Council. He did not win, but the simple fact that he ran speaks volumes!
• Has a new, "old school" teacher for Reconstructive Language. She is making them write in cursive (the physical act of writing the connected letters helps them learn the letter-sounds.) He sent a hand-written letter to us through the mail. YES, people- paper, envelope, stamp- the whole shebang!
• He is getting rave reviews from his teachers, including the following:
• He is attentive to his work, punctual with his assignments, and has adjusted well to my requirements. 
• Few students can ‘see the bigger picture’, but Zack seems to be demonstrating that he understands why we have to work so hard on the ‘details’.  I’m very impressed with his commitment to the work, and hope it continues throughout the year. 

    Jake:

• After three days, he declared that this has been the "best year ever!"
•  He tried out for modified volleyball and didn't make the team. His attitude has been excellent and he now looks forward to joining in on the musical, which, I think he will really like. 
• He endured the change of routine that comes with going back to school and has taken to it, like a champ!
• He has tackled homework with excitement and his grades have been excellent.
• Joined chorus and is trying out for show choir.

Me:   I arrived back at school to find some exciting changes, as well as some un-welcome ones. 

•  On the first day back, my classroom, which was once half-filled with paper towels, was 3/4 filled with unwanted equipment: overhead projectors, pre-k kitchen furniture, clinic furniture (those nice vinyl "beds," defunct copiers, hard drives, macs, and a big glass case.) Said equipment, mostly, blocked the entrance to the room about 3/4 of the way, and completely obstructed the outside exit. After some nagging, begging, and threats to go up the chain of command, the engineers cleared it all out by my first day of teaching.
• My caseload is higher this year, BUT, I am very fortunate to have reasonably sized groups of students- no more than 12 at a time.
• I am working with one of my favorite classroom teachers, who really understands ESL students- and that makes all the difference!
• I have decided to take the plunge and gone back to school to become an Administrator. This will be funded with student loans that I will be paying off for the rest of my life, however, I have decided that this is the best way to effect change, on a system that is horribly broken, one school at a time!

Pat: Well, I think that Pat is still delighting in having his routine back! He enjoys having us around for the summer, but we really make it hard for him to get anything done. 

So, that's it. We're back to school. We have an extra mortgage-sized payment to make every month, payable to Gow, but with the help of our "village" we have gotten Zack where he needs to be. Our indiegogo account is active for a few more days. We didn't come close to making our goal, but we have more than we started out with, so I am thrilled. If you know anyone who still wants to make a donation, please direct them here: http://www.indiegogo.com/ZackGow  Anything we add to that total will help make that tuition payment every month, so we can still use the help!!

Thank you all!

xoxoxo

Success on Many Levels

We did it! Zack is going back to Gow. In fact, we will drop him off tomorrow and classes start on Monday. Yep, even though it's a holiday, they have classes. For the first marking period, Zack will attend classes from 7am to 2:30pm, with a break for lunch. From 3-5:30 they have athletics. The school does not offer physical education, so all students must participate in a sport, each season.

They shower, have dinner and then report to mandatory study hall at 6:30. This is proctored by various instructors and, if needed, students can make an appointment with a specific teacher during this time. Study hall ends around 8:30 and then the boys get some free time. IF Zack does his job, keeps up with his studies, etc. his instructors can recommend that he participate in dorm study.

Last year, Zack earned dorm study each semester and I don't anticipate it being a problem this year. In fact, last year, when he had some difficulties before exams, he went to study hall to get the help he needed.


So, his day will go from sun up to sun down.... I guess all days do that, eh? He will also go to school on Saturdays, until noon. He will work hard and he WILL succeed!

We want to thank SO many people for their help in getting Zack back to school. It means the world to us that family and friends were willing to help. Thanks to all of you, we were able to pay the bulk of Zack's tuition. We will pay the rest off over the course of the year. If you know anyone who is interested in giving to the indiegogo campaign, it has 29 days left,  so please direct them to the site!!


http://www.indiegogo.com/ZackGow


Thank you all so much. I will be posting updates here for those that are invested in this magnificent child!

Do the Clothes Make the Man?

Some days, I think that I would be better off avoiding the newspaper and, in fact, most days, I do avoid it. When I do read our local paper, I stick to the "Life" sections with Dear Abby, and the comics. However, there are some days that I get sucked in and read every section. This was the case on Saturday of last week, when I encountered the following article that our paper picked up from the AP: Rich toddlers draw fashion designers' eyes

 Typically, I avoid talking politics/class warfare when with friends.... and strangers (who needs the fight?) However, my very good friend, J and I were discussing the proposed tax on the wealthy.  Her family would fall into that higher tax bracket, even though they do not have an opulent lifestyle and, most likely, are just over the magic line that would be drawn. Frankly, I can't pretend to understand the whole thing, but the bottom line is, the most people would pay more in taxes, including the wealthy (which seems to be defined as $250,000+ for dual income households.)There is more information here: MoneyCrashers and here: focusfinancial.medmancreative.com The percentage increase would be smaller than for those of lower incomes, which is what the hubbub is all about. Those with higher incomes want to keep the Tax plan that GWB put into place while in office.

I went through a whole number-crunching thing and decided that it was all too much, so let’s suffice it to say that when you make 7 figures a year, your tax bracket would go from 13% to 36%. The difference between paying 13% and 36% in taxes is enough to feed all of the families in my school, for a year. That is a lot of money taken from that earner’s pocket… until you consider the 63%-87% of income that those people are able to keep and spend on things like their child’s wardrobe.

So, this brings me back to that original headline, above. The story made my blood boil. The first woman spent $10,000 on her 3 year old child's wardrobe because the child is “reflection” of her and, therefore, needs to be well-dressed.  Why does this make me so angry? Of course, it is her money, and she can do with it as she chooses. But, really, is that the best way she can spend $10,000? Actually, I have just had an epiphany…. That child’s wardrobe IS a reflection of her…. And if it were me, I would be avoiding the mirror from now on. 

I don't know... maybe it's because I don't have the money, so it's all ethereal and mysterious, but it seems to me that asking the wealthy to give up one vacation (or vacation home) isn't too much to ask, for the betterment of all!

Please share my blog with your friends/family/enemies and tell them about our fundraising efforts.  Maybe one of them knows a 1% who has some extra green to burn, and would love to help sponsor the education of our young Einstein (who, by the way, wears $4 jackets from Good Will Industries

http://www.indiegogo.com/ZackGow

Think Outside of the Box.... WAAAAY Outside!

A while ago, I wrote about labels and how easy it is to try to define people, make them fit into categories, helping us successfully interact with them. You can read that post here: Labels

As I have gone about trying to get donations from people- dyslexics and "normals"- I have discovered that dyslexic entrepreneurs are a very diverse group of accomplished citizens. Often, they are known for the entrepreneurial spirit, like Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Henry Ford, Richard Branson or their scientific contributions: Alexander Graham Bell, Pierre Curie, Thomas Edison. There is even a subset of hotties (as I see it, anyway) although that is not their "accomplishment": Orlando Bloom, Tom Cruise, Keanu Reeves, Keira Knightly, Vince Vaughn- the list goes on.

There have been numerous articles written about the correlation between entrepreneurship and dyslexia and often, the subjects credit the challenge of dyslexia as an asset. In fact, The Gow School treats it as such, and with good reason. Dyslexics are "think outside of the box" people. The unfortunate thing is that public schools are, largely, made of BOXES and thinking outside of the "norm" is discouraged. Such is the case with our public school. They want to encourage students to be creative thinkers and problem solvers. However, they don't want them to make waves, be "disruptive" and that thinking/problem solving, typically, needs to take place within the confines of their desk space. In the public school setting, dyslexia IS a disability.

Because Gow is a boarding school, we don't get to spend a lot of time with Zack. This summer has been such a gift, in that regard. We have been with him, daily, and watched how his brain works. He problem solves, he keeps trying and, eventually, he solves a problem. That tenacity is something that wasn't there a year ago. Prior to going to Gow, when he encountered difficulty, Zack would get frustrated, throw his hands up, claim stupidity and be done with it. Gow has given him the freedom and confidence to try things- even things WAY outside of the box.

People like Richard Branson (Richard, if you're reading this, we could REALLY use your help), Steve Jobs, Henry Ford, Bill Gates- they became great because someone in their lives allowed them to think outside of the box. Or perhaps, whatever the reason, boxes were more flexible in their worlds.

If you're curious about other well-known/accomplished dyslexics, click through the links below for some interesting reads. AND, if you discover that you know anyone or know someone who knows someone (the 6 Degrees of Kevin Bacon principle) on that list, put in a good word for us, will ya? We are going to need help tearing apart those boxes so that Zack can be the next Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Henry Ford or Richard Branson. (Fortunately, he's already got the looks of those hotties above!)

Famous Dyslexics:

http://www.dyslexia.com/famous.htm

http://www.incomediary.com/top-30-dyslexic-entrepreneurs

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/12/05/business/worldbusiness/05iht-dyslexia.4.8602036.html

Please share our efforts with your friends. If we can make that six degree connection, it would help Zack build a bigger, better, more OPEN box!

http://www.indiegogo.com/ZackGow

https://www.facebook.com/GetZackToGow

Thank you to all who have read and shared and given. You are making a dream come true!! xoxoxo

The Boy (and his books) I Have Loved

As I sat, this morning, groggily trying to wake up, I started thinking back to Zack's early interactions with books. When he was a tiny little boy, each night, I would rock him in our rocking chair and read two stories: Pat The Bunny and Good Night Moon. I loved singing the words to him, guiding his hand to touch the pages of Pat The Bunny.

Good Night Moon was less tactile, but even more fun to sing-song to him.

That poor copy of Pat The Bunny practically disintegrated at the end. I think I still have the copy of Goodnight Moon for my classroom collection- those board books are pretty hearty!

We enjoyed many, many books together over the years but, really, he was never interested in sitting down and reading with me. Before he went to kindergarten, he learned his alphabet and we started working on that sound-letter correlation thing but he didn't seem to fully grasp it. Red flags should have been going up, but he was my first and I had no idea what he "should" be able to do, etc.

So, when we tried this fun series from the library..

I found myself confused about why he didn't seem to be catching on. The guilty Mom in me can still hear him repeating the words half a beat behind me because he knew he couldn't decipher it and I wanted him to SO badly. The sound of him saying "beeper" will stay with me forever. He was such a "people pleaser"- even at 4.

In his first few years of school, he really didn't care one way or the other about reading. He had an easygoing personality and made friends with all of the kids in his room. His teachers loved him- who wouldn't? He was always cooperative, although easily distracted and slow on writing assignments. But, he was not retained because he was "just immature" and would "grow out of it."

As he grew, we saw inconsistency in his abilities to read and write. Instead of asking what the problem was, we blamed him for not trying. Fortunately, there have been moments of comic relief here and there, like in Kindergarten when he made this book for me:

Cute, right? But, wait.... this is my favorite page....

Ahem. In case you can't decipher it: "My Mother looks prettiest when she plays spin the bottle." That's me on the left (you can tell because of my flippy hair do) and I have no idea who is on the right. In the middle there is, clearly, a bottle. It is inscribed with the word "ber." Yes, folks, I look prettiest when I'm using a beer bottle to play spin the bottle. <pause for laughter here>.....

........

Finished? Oh, not yet? One more minute then....

.....

How would you like to be making THAT phone call to the teacher??? "Hello, Mrs. X, this is Mrs. L... Zack's Mom. I was so happy to receive the book that Zack made in your class, for Mother's Day! Yes, he did do a lovely job.... However, I did want to reassure you that spin the bottle is not a game that I play..... What? Where did he get that idea? I'm sure I have no idea- maybe he heard it on the bus!" I. Wanted. To. Die. 

It did get better though.... or maybe the teachers got smarter. First, they decided that typing things up was a much better idea than having him hand write. A few years later, I got THIS poem:

Please note that I have graduated from playing spin the bottle and am now into Star Wars and making awesome cakes. Oddly enough, this note isn't dated, but I would guess 2nd or 3rd grade.

In school, he rarely read for pleasure and preferred nonfictional books (lots of pictures) to fiction (too much text.) In fact, the first series of books that caught his interest were in Scholastic's Dear America series

and then Gary Paulsen. Paulsen's books are written FOR the teenage boy, like Hatchet, Woodsrunner, etc. 

Last year was the first time he was sucked in by a series- he could not put it down. Enter, The Hunger Games. He devoured them like nothing I'd ever seen before. It brought tears to my eyes- literally- to see him so engrossed in a book.  

 

Last year, while at Gow, Zack made some major improvements in the reading/writing departments. After only one month at Gow, he sent me this card:

It isn't very legible. However, he thanks me for helping him go to Gow, for being his Mom, and being there when he needs help. I love the use of "Overall" in the last sentence. Such an academic child! The boy's handwriting is atrocious- so much so that his fundraising "thank yous" will be typed up on the computer. I wanted to save the recipients the pain of trying to decipher his work.

Finally, here is a piece that he wrote for "The Youngovian" which is published by one of the English teachers at Gow.

It might not seem like a big deal to you, the reader, but the work reflects his confidence- something that was never there before. He writes with voice (even if it is teenage boy voice) and confidence.

I look forward to watching his continued evolution. With a little more help from our friends, he will be back at Gow next year, improving by leaps and bounds once again! (Although, I suspect that the handwriting thing is a lost cause.)

As of today, our indiegogo account is up to $1210. Our goal is $5,000 and we have 60-some days to get there. We CAN do it with your help. If you aren't able to donate money, please just help spread the word- share our links with your friends!

Indiegogo:  http://www.indiegogo.com/ZackGow?a=740312
Twitter: RebeccaLaczkows
facebook: https://www.facebook.com/GetZackToGow

With your continued help, spreading the word, we can do it!!

The Starfish... and a Bat Mitzvah

This weekend, we were fortunate enough to witness our niece make her Bat Mitzvah. Being of a Christian background, it was a very enlightening experience for us. The Rabbi was very good about explaining the service, and what to expect, as we went along. However, what impressed us the most was our niece. She is an extraordinary young woman, and she and Zack have been best buddies since.... well... forever! Their similarities and differences just work well together, I guess.

Prior to the ceremony, my niece shared part of her speech with me, leaving me in AWE of her spirit, once again. As I learned, Bar or Bat Mitzvah'd youth are expected to make a Tzedakah, which is best transliterated as sacred giving, and comes from the Hebrew root for "Justice."  Our niece related Zack's educational experience with Tzedakah, and the fact that justice would be for him to have the education that he needs, as opposed to what the public schools are willing to give him.

She also talked about the tradition in Judiasm that (and I'm shaky on this, as I wasn't able to find a good online resource) wealth is meant to be shared and after 50 years, wealth should be re-distributed to avoid perpetuating the cycle of poverty. Furthermore, those who have much are expected to help those less fortunate. Rabbi Tannenbaum did expand on this, but it was a LOT to take in. He did look out into the audience and admonish (jokingly) the congregation that they are expected to give to those less fortunate.

As I sat, listening to the Rabbi and our beautiful niece who is SO wise, I was reminded of the story of the Starfish. As a teacher, I have heard this story about, oh, a million times. However, the version I have linked to, here, is one that I found version online and thought was particularly applicable to our situation.

There are days that I wonder if our fundraising objective is too small for people to believe in. This is especially true when I read stories on indiegogo and see the projects that are, globally speaking, so much bigger than ours. Yet, at the same time, I really believe that if he gets a Gow education, he will become so much MORE and be able to DO so much more, making a change in the world. Without it, he will survive and, for me, that just isn't enough. I want him to get what he needs so that he can realize his full potential and make a difference in the world

Below is the text from that Starfish link from www.ordinarypeoplechangetgeworld.com

The Starfish Story

By City Year

A young girl was walking along a beach upon which thousands of starfish had been washed up during a terrible storm. When she came to each starfish, she would pick it up, and throw it back into the ocean. People watched her with amusement.

 

She had been doing this for some time when a man approached her and said, “Little girl, why are you doing this? Look at this beach! You can’t save all these starfish. You can’t begin to make a difference!”

 

The girl seemed crushed, suddenly deflated. But after a few moments, she bent down, picked up another starfish, and hurled it as far as she could into the ocean. Then she looked up at the man and replied,

 

“Well, I made a difference to that one!”

 

The old man looked at the girl inquisitively and thought about what she had done and said. Inspired, he joined the little girl in throwing starfish back into the sea. Soon others joined, and all the starfish were saved. - adapted from the Star Thrower by Loren C. Eiseley

 

Perseverance against great odds and against the criticism of others is the very hallmark of value-based idealism, as is refusing to accept failure. The understanding that we hold in our hands the power to change a life, a mind, or a circumstance today – right now – is a powerful insight and motivator. At the same time, idealistic acts, even highly symbolic ones, have the power to inspire others to act, and sometimes in numbers significant enough to make a major or even complete impact on the problem at hand. Perhaps most inspiring of all is to witness the idealistic power of children and young people in action. The idealism of youth is a powerful force for leading change in the world. Often it is our youth who put into action values that we have instilled in them – but have failed to act on ourselves. The world, therefore, depends on the idealism of youth to lead the way.

It is Better to Give Than to Receive (most of the time, anyway)

Lest you think that I spend my entire life whining and begging...

My writing has been so focused on needs, of late, so I want to let you know that I *do* give in my daily life and I LOVE it! As I have mentioned, I am a teacher with Buffalo Schools. My school has a 94% poverty rate, and the students' needs are tremendous. Like so many, their families are short on time and money. Our school system works hard to limit the financial burdens that they put on families. My school has a uniform policy- students must wear a school shirt (navy polo) and uniform pants (navy.) This might not sound like it eases financial burdens, but the cost of two shirts is about $15 and two pair of pants from Target, about $40. Most families can get away with purchasing those 4 items, saving them money, in the long run.

However, for some families, that is even too much. My students are, almost, all refugees. They come with a couple of trash bags full of "stuff" (clothing, housewares, etc.) from their native countries. Catholic Charities and other refugee services do provide them with some basics, but they rely heavily on the kindness of others.

So, when I started at the school, last Fall,  I had a brainstorm. A co-worker mentioned to me that she tries to make sure that all of the students have winter coats, hats, gloves and boots. This led me to ask my friends and family if they might be willing to donate their "charity-bound" items to my students. Most were happy to do it... and our clothing bank was born. We made sure that every student that needed clothing items got them. At any time, students were able to come to my storage room and find items that they needed. If we didn't have it, we would ask for help from WearNShare, and they always delivered.

When I realized that students did not have toiletry items at home, I started using "super couponing" to get the items that they needed. No, I'm not one of those women you see who get 4,000 TV dinners for $0.12, but I can usually score shampoo, soap, etc for $0.25 and that little bit goes a long way.

The thing about all of this is that I LOVE giving. It probably gives me the same rush that shopping does for others. My dear husband often has to temper my enthusiasm, reminding me that we have serious financial needs of our own. His words don't keep me from giving- they just encourage me to shop even more frugally!

All of this is my way of saying that, yes, I do ask for a lot of the five readers that I have.  However, I am asking only that you share our story with YOUR five readers, and then they share, etc. until our plight gets to the right person. We are eternally grateful to all of those who have helped spread the word thus far. Every hit that we get at indiegogo (not donation, just clicking the link) moves us up the ladder for them to advertise us more frequently. So, Thank you all!

Hitting the Wall.... And Then Climbing Over It!

We have 77 days left in our campaign on indiegogo-  http://www.indiegogo.com/ZackGow?a=740312 Donations, through the site, have started to dwindle, so I continue to look for new and exciting ways to advertise.

In visiting the website for Yale's Center for Dyslexia & Creativity , I came upon a list of successful people who have dyslexia. Many of them didn't have their dyslexia diagnosed, until late in life. Largely, they seem to see this as a good thing- their perseverance, creative thinking, etc. helped make them the people that they are today. I think that it is wonderful that they were able to overcome the difficulties that their dyslexia presented!

On the other hand, I don't want Zack to be defeated by a system that, currently, does not provide appropriate accommodations for students with dyslexia. If he becomes so disheartened that he gives up altogether, I will be heartbroken. SO, I am going on another letter writing campaign. I will be sending personalized letters to each of the individuals on that list, provided I can find their contact information, and asking them to spread the word about Zack's situation and need.

My decision to do this was reaffirmed when I saw the following piece on NBC's today show...

Couple Building American Palace

If you don't have time to watch the video, here's the blurb:

New documentary “The Queen of Versailles” follows a Florida couple, David and Jackie Siegel, who set out to build the biggest house in America when the recession caused their opulent lifestyle to crumble. Jackie and filmmaker Lauren Greenfield talk about the surprising turn of events neither of them expected.

This feeds right into my "life isn't fair" issue and the fact that there are some in this country that have more money than good sense. I know that the wealthy have no obligation to do charitable works and there are, certainly, charitable organizations that would benefit more than "just" Zack from funding. However, I am disheartened by the fact that Today believed that this story was newsworthy. And, if you didn't watch the video, you will be relieved to know that the couple has recovered and are hoping to sell the home, upon completion. If they are unable to sell it, then they will just have to suffer through and live in it. The house with the bowling alley. Sad.

Really, I hope that their take away from this is that "things" will not bring them happiness, especially when times are tough! And, to that end, I am off to write some letters!

Defualt.... Default.... which one looks right?

Over this weekend, we have had the pleasure of hosting extended family for the wedding of my brother in law, Jay and his lovely bride, Claire. It has been an uplifting celebration and we are thrilled to have been a part of it. Even more thrilling, however, is the opportunity to watch Z interact and  his cognizance of spelling. "Spelling" you say? Yes, spelling. I don't recall how it came up, but over the weekend, Z tried to spell "default." His father stopped him, mid-spell, when he made an error, and corrected him. Z, looking dubious, walked over to a piece of paper and wrote the word, as his father had spelled it, and then substituted in his original spelling. Once he had done that, he was immediately able to apply the skills he's gained from RL at Gow and recognized that his father was, indeed, correct.

This might sound inconsequential to you, but, for him, it is a huge milestone. He may not be able to hear the sounds, but he can look at the word and, using the "rules" from RL, he can figure out where it's wrong and how to correct it!

And, THAT is what a GOW education will get you!

Seasons....

This month, we have a lot of festivities, involving family. My husband's brother is getting married to a wonderful woman and I am so glad to be able to call her sister.  Since my Mother-in-Law's passing, in February, we have been on auto-pilot, to some degree. During her last years with us, she was not the same woman we'd always known. Weakened by COPD, immobilized by complications from diabetes, she was not able to actively participate in family gatherings, although she was still very good at organizing and orchestrating them.

So, as we embark on the journey, the lyrics to The Byrds' song, Turn! Turn! Turn! come to mind.


To everything - turn, turn, turn
There is a season - turn, turn, turn
And a time for every purpose under heaven


As a family, we have been through every season together.


A time to be born, a time to die
A time to plant, a time to reap
A time to kill, a time to heal
A time to laugh, a time to weep

We  have been through weddings, births, separations, divorces, illness and death.  Those last few have, understandably, been some of the most difficult to experience. Through it all, Mom kept us moving in the right direction, and ALWAYS had a sense of humor about everything. She could make us laugh and move on, during the most difficult of times- even her own death. Her final wish was for us to have a celebration of her life, in the form of a karaoke party. We fulfilled that wish, and I'm so glad that we did, but I also think that it may have kept me from really grieving her loss. After all, she had been so unlike herself prior to her passing that it was as if much of her was already gone.

A time to build up, a time to break down
A time to dance, a time to mourn
A time to cast away stones
A time to gather stones together


And now, we have something to celebrate.... and mourn, all at the same time. As we try to coordinate amongst the family, the various dinners, and events surrounding the wedding, I am fighting an internal battle. I am so happy for my brother in law, having found someone so special. At the same time, I am desperately sad that Mom won't be here for the completion of this chapter.  I believe that she will be there, watching it all, but it's not the same.


She was the lynch-pin that kept it all together for us. She was the matriarch and made sure that we each knew our role for any given family function. I was the salad girl. I always wondered, but never asked, if I was assigned salads because she had no faith in my cooking. Or, maybe, she realized that working full time just didn't leave me a lot of time for kitchen creativity. Or, did she recognize that cooking isn't my passion, and salad allowed me to contribute without too much "work." 


A time of war, a time of peace
A time of love, a time of hate
A time you may embrace
A time to refrain from embracing


I think that, as wives, she and I couldn't have been more different. Yet, she respected me enough to listen to what I had to say, even when she disagreed (emphatically!) However, as people, I like to think that we are quite similar.  She taught me so much about how to conduct myself, with dignity, during difficult times. Reflecting on it, I don't know that she knew how to address the loss of someone so important to me.  I wish that we'd had that conversation.

A time to gain, a time to lose
A time to rend, a time to sew
A time to love, a time to hate
A time of peace, I swear it's not too late!


As I take on hosting the rehearsal dinner (this is an honor for me, I swear) I am overwhelmed.  I see this as the family taking a big step without Mom. It is a time to gain a new appreciation for all that she did. I guess the time to lose is just not having her there. It is a time to rend MY self-perception as "the salad girl" and sew by taking on more responsibilities. I promise to use this time to love my family for who they are and know that I hate that we have to go on without her.

As we dance and celebrate this wonderful union, I will look for signs that she is there with us. I know she wouldn't miss it for anything!

What Is Fair???

If you're a parent, you have probably heard the words, "It's NOT FAIR" a few times.... or, a few hundred times. Many times, by their definition, they are right, "IT" isn't fair. To many of us, especially as children, the word fair implies that things are equal. However, if one looks up fair at dictionary.com, we get a definition that doesn't even seem to apply in the way that kids use it. 

I suppose, the closest meaning would be the first, "free from bias." However, children generally use fair  to mean equal or everything being the same. When my children start the "it's not fair" chant, I remind them that I do not define fair, as meaning that everyone gets the same thing. For me, fair is more like the dictionary.com definition of equitable which is more about justice and being reasonable. Actually, what I say to them is (while watching their eyes roll) "Fair is not when everyone gets the same thing. Fair is when everyone gets what they need." And, I mean it! 


At work, I try to help my students have a fair existence. They don't have designer ANYthing. Most of them have one uniform shirt, one pair of shoes, one pair of pants, shorts, etc. Their families don't know where the next meal is coming from and their lives are chaos. My goal, at work, is to eliminate those outside stressors, hopefully, leveling the playing field at school. Is it fair that I give them shoes, winter coats, etc?  Not in the sense that children would use the word. I don't give EVERY one of them a winter coat, or shoes, etc. Instead, I ask them what they need and try to fill that need. All of the students in my school (not just those that I teach) know that they can come to my room to get clothing items and toiletries, as needed. If I don't have what they need, I will work to get it for them. That might mean that I have to go to a thrift store and buy it, out of pocket, or ask a charitable organization, like, Wear N Share. They are an amazing, local, organization that collects hand-me-downs and re-distributes them to students like mine. 


So, let me get to the point (Finally!) Academically, I want things to be equitable for my son. I want him to get what he NEEDS. I know that he is getting what he needs when I see him thrive. In his public school he did not thrive. In fact, his reading level decreased while using their specialized plan for him. The school no longer had faith in his ability to learn, despite the fact that he is very bright.  So, we took a chance and sent him to Gow. There, he flourished. He is a new man, in almost every sense of the word. He WILL do great things, but we have to remain vigilant. 


We will have to diligently fundraise for the rest of his high school career.  As I have mentioned, asking for money, from the public is a humbling experience. I look around and there is so much need in this world- (like my students)- that I find it difficult to ask people for money to help Zack stay in a private school. But, ask, I shall because it is what he needs. It would give him a fair education and I'm all about being fair.

Visit our fundraising website to see a video of Zack~  http://www.indiegogo.com/ZackGow?a=740312

Oh, here's a video that Zack and a classmate made for their reconstructive language class. I believe that the process is part of the multi-sensory program that helps the kids learn well.  http://www.youtube.com/my_videos_edit?ns=1&feature=vm&video_id=aa5jUqfUOzU

Beg, Borrow and Steal (& a CSE Update)

Parenthood is such an adventure. Our parenting styles differ as much as our personalities. Reflecting on my parenting career, I think about the "burning" questions that people have asked, such as, "are you going to find out the baby's sex," "Do you have a birth plan," "Cloth diapers or disposables," and my favorite...

"What would you do without or sacrifice for your child?" Throughout my kids' lives, I have given up the obvious things: alcohol during pregnancy, sleep (while nursing,) trading quiet time for back to back soccer games, etc.

It really wasn't until we started down the road of getting Zack diagnosed with dyslexia that I really understood what it meant to sacrifice for my child. As a teacher, I am used to being grilled by parents and being in the "power position." As a teacher, I always wanted my students' parents to be involved in their child's education. Of course, there were times that a parent crossed the boundary between reasonable request and petulant demand but, even then, I was glad that they cared enough to seek me out.   Our school district is supposed to be one of the best in the area, but they were very resistant to the idea of testing our son. I won't re-hash it, but if you are interested in reading about that experience, you can do so here.  When I was in the "parent" position, it was very difficult for me to ask questions, seek support and, in the end, make petulant demands that my child receive the services that he deserved.

Now, I find myself in the least "comfortable" parental position ever.  I know what he needs. I know where he can get it. The only challenge that I face is a matter of finances. Neither P nor I come from families of wealth. I teach in a public school system that has not given teachers a "raise" since 2004- and even then it didn't make up the gap since the previous raise in 1998. I LOVE my students, but the pay does not give me great joy. P is self-employed and that means that our monthly income can fluctuate quite a bit. And, frankly, there has yet to be a month where we say "woo hoo, we have EXTRA money this month!"

So, here I am, looking down the barrel of four years of tuition at the school that will most benefit my child. I have asked myself, "what are you willing to give up/do for your child?" And, I feel like I have failed, before I've even gotten started. The annual tuition is more than I make, before taxes, annually. Even if P made the SAME amount that I do, we wouldn't have that much left over for tuition. The school has been generous with their financial aid, effectively cutting the tuition in half. Even with that generosity, we are looking at $2,000 per month, plus miscellaneous fees of about $3,500 annually. What would I do for my child? Anything. I have worked in an after school program. I have TRIED to get a job teaching summer school. I sell things on ebay. I sell things on Craig's List. I coupon to the point that we don't pay for toiletries. All of those things are good. But they are not enough.

I find myself envious of Z's classmates, whose families pay full tuition and even some who have more than one child at the school. I am angry at, what I perceive to be, a convoluted financial aid program at the school.  I filled out the paperwork. I turned in our tax returns. The magic financial aid website said that we should be able to afford "x" amount, but we are now expected to come up with 6x that amount. I want to stomp my feet and shout, "It's not fair!" Then I hear my own voice saying to my children, "life isn't fair." But, I also tell them that "Fair is not when everyone gets the same thing. Fair is when everyone gets what they NEED." And, by golly, Zack needs Gow.

An education at Gow is, as one friend put it, a game changer. It isn't a matter of life and death, but it has the potential to alter his life path, significantly. So, what will I do for my child? I  will beg, borrow and steal for him. I will take to the internet and pester every organization that I can find to give him a small scholarship. I will ask my friends to give $5 and spread the word of our mission. I will do ANYTHING  within my power to get him what he needs. I will HOPE. I will have FAITH. And, I will LOVE him unconditionally with the expectation that others will follow my lead.



PLEASE. If you are reading this blog (and I know there aren't many) PLEASE share this information with your friends. Help Zack get what he needs. His future depends on it.

His fundraising website is here.

Thank you!!!

UPDATE: On June 19, 2012, we had our annual IEP meeting with Clarence. They have come a long way towards meeting Zack's needs, but still aren't where they need to be to give him what Gow can. Unfortunately, they are not obligated to meet that standard. They are only obligated to provide him with a "Free and Appropriate Public Education." With their current offer/plan, Zack would get adaptive technology and resource room. He would have consultant teachers in the core classes and they said that they would give him an Orton-Gillingham program, daily. The O-G program would probably be Wilson or Sondae, both of which are good, but they don't even hold a candle to the RL program at Gow. Unfortunately, because they have worked to meet us halfway, we do not have a legal case against them. We have consulted an attorney who specializes in this area (their son also went to Gow) and they agree that it would not be wise to pursue a suit at this time. Our best option, for district reimbursement, would be to let Z go back to Clarence, watch him fail/lose ground, and then file suit for reimbursement. That's a big gamble to take with his life and we want to avoid doing so, if at all possible.

Hope is a Funny Thing....

Our little fundraising campaign is at $300! that might not seem like such a big deal to you, but it gives me hope that we can achieve our goal!  Just that little thread of hope makes me want to keep pushing, telling our story and trying to raise awareness about dyslexia.

It is my, sincere, hope that Zack's legacy will be more than just "making it" and graduating from The Gow School. I really hope that our experience with Gow will lead to changes in the public school system.

Knowing that 80% of "LD" labeled kids in public schools have dyslexia really makes me scratch my head. Even more astonishing is that (most) public schools use programs that are unproven, in terms of their benefit to dyslexic students- especially when there are several specific programs that really WOULD benefit them. At a time when school districts are laying teachers off, due to budget cuts, it seems, statistically, intelligent to implement a program that would benefit 80% of your LD students, as well as 100% of your gen ed students. Unfortunately, districts and school boards seem hell-bent on continuing down their, already-established, paths, using programs that are already paid for- even if they don't show themselves to be particularly helpful.

So, once we get Zack's education squared away, I will be on a mission to educate districts about the reality of their student populations and the benefit that ALL students will gain from using an Orton-Gillingham based program. Such programs, used early on in the introduction to phonics, etc. might reduce the need for the "one size fits most" programs that are unsuccessfully implemented in later years when that window of opportunity has narrowed.

As much as we love The Gow School (www.gow.org) and, believe me, we do, NO ONE should have to pay private boarding school tuition for an LD that impacts so much of the public school population. I hope that our experience will show public schools that adopting an o-g based curriculum is in the best interest of students and families in their community!

View Zack's video here:  $5 Can Help Our Young Einstein

Blowin' Up the Twittersphere!

My last post was kind of depressing and, definitely, defeatist. After a few days of wallowing, we are back on the "you can do it" bandwagon!

I joined twitter and am sending out as many tweets as I can, to as many people as I can, asking for $5 donations. Essentially, my thinking is that a whole bunch of $5 donations will add up to enough to make it happen for Zack. I am working on a new video for his fundraising website and hope to have it finished this afternoon. He is being such a good sport about conducting the interviews, considering that he is very uncomfortable in front of the camera!

At any rate, check me out on Twitter (@RebeccaLaczkows) and you will get updates, when we get donations!

UPDATE: Zack's new video is done- please check it out!  http://goo.gl/1LYwi

Good News! Bad News... :-(

In true "me" style, I finished up the 2011-2012 school year with a nasty bout of the flu. I'm not talking about "ugh, I don't feel good" but the real, honest-to-goodness flu! The Immediate Care people gave me the diagnosis about 24 hours before I started to feel better. Anyone know how to diagnose the flu?...

Anyone?....

Well, let me tell you. They take a 6" long flexible stick with a q-tip-type end and put that sucker all the way up your nostril, into your brain, until you gag and cough all over them. THEN, they take that thing out and stick it up the other nostril! What a nightmare!

So. I made it back to work for the very last day of school and was so glad to say goodbye for the summer and some, much needed, rest.

Jake finished the year on the Merit Roll and can officially say that he survived his first year in middle school. He has made new friends and is looking forward to swimming and doing a whole lotta nothing! 

Zack finished the year at Gow in the best way possible. He was awarded the David W. Gow award which is given to the middle school student who has set an example for the rest: academically, socially and athletically. He was bursting with pride as he walked up to the stage to get his trophy, and so was I.

And now, on to the bad news. It doesn't look like he will be able to go to Gow in the fall. My heart, absolutely, breaks to be typing those words. The truth of the matter is that we can't afford it. Not, as in, "Gee, if we send Z to Gow, we will have to put of the new kitchen until next year." We can't afford it, in a, "Gosh, I enjoy eating food and sleeping in a house" kind of way. The school was very generous with their financial aid offer and, while there's still the possibility of more, it is unlikely that we can make up the difference, even with the help of dear family and friends who have been SO generous in offers to help.

As a last-ditch effort, I have started a fundraising campaign on www.indiegogo.com. I figure that if they can raise $600,000 for a school bus aide, someone might want to help us, too. Zack made the video all on his own, although, I admit that I did re-write the cards because his handwriting is awful, LOL! At the very least, please click the link below and take a look at it!

Zack's You Tube Video

Ready for a Challenge...!....?

In one week, Zack will have finished his first year at The GOW School, which specializes in language based learning differences. In one year, we have watched him grow from a self-conscious, unsure, insecure boy into a confident, well-rounded, smiling young man. He is so proud of what he has accomplished (and rightly so) and no longer thinks of himself as a stupid kid who just can't learn.


If you've ever been in our position, you know what I'm talking about. Watching your child struggle, day in and day out, through 7 years of academics, breaks your heart. Yes, we are lucky because he is healthy and able bodied. I know that things can always be worse. But, as a Mother, it is gut wrenching to watch your happy, bright boy slowly lose self-worth because of something beyond his control.


For parents of an LD child, the "system" can be difficult, at best. Well-intentioned educators, psychologists and administrators offer one-stop-shopping solutions for an LD child, regardless of what they really require. This is not their sinister attempt to deny your child access to resources- although that is certainly how it feels. School systems, simply, have not recognized that language based disabilities make up the majority of their LD population.


Dyslexia is neurobiological in origin. Schools refer to Dyslexia an SLD (Specific Learning Disability) and define a Learning Disability as a disorder in one or more of the basic processes involved in understanding spoken or written language.  It may show up as a problem in listening, thinking, speaking, reading, writing, or spelling or in a person’s ability to do math, despite intelligence. The National Institute of Health's studies show that 80% of students with an LD have a form of Dyslexia, yet only one in ten students with Dyslexia get appropriate special education services. How is that possible that 80 students out of 100 have dyslexia, 8 of them are serviced with appropriate programs while the other  72 are placed in programs that don't address their needs, or ignored completely? Why is the majority of a school's special education funding devoted to programs that are destined to fail? It's mind boggling!


In our case, Zack has an above average IQ, but great difficulty matching sounds to symbols. When something is presented to him, orally, he remembers things very well. However, he has so much difficulty with decoding text that meaning is lost; Once he gets through decoding each word, he has forgotten what the string of words said and can't tell you anything about what he has read.  He also has great difficulty with note-taking because he does not have automatic recall of spelling, and can't reasonably sound out a word/string of words while continuing to listen to the teacher. In addition to those struggles, he lacked executive function/organizational skills. One teacher referred to him as a "nutty professor" running down the hall with papers appearing to jump from his being as he moved.


So, once we realized that his school was unable/unwilling to implement a program that would be effective, we elected to move Zack to Gow. The tuition at Gow is not cheap. It is, in fact, quite expensive and, for most families, unattainable. For Zack's first year at Gow, we took a gamble. We chose to spend the boys' college funds on ONE year at Gow, in hopes that we would be in a better financial situation, or eligible for more aid when the next year rolled around. Within a month, we knew that our gamble had paid off. Unfortunately, the return on that investment is not a financial one and we now face paying for another year, and then another after that, etc. with the goal of keeping him there through High School graduation. 


I am humbled when I contemplate finding the money for another year. The school has been generous with financial aid, but the balance owed would still be half of my net income. Our families have also been very generous, but they are also of limited resources. As I macabrely joked with admissions; I am running out of rich relatives who might leave me an inheritance. 


So, this is where I need some help, folks. I cannot bring myself to ask people for money, directly. However, I CAN bring myself to ask for fundraising ideas, or contacts/connections to people who might be able to offer help, in any capacity, in our endeavor to keep Zack where he belongs. I would do anything for him, and am at a loss. Please repost this blog on your wall so that your friends see it and pass it on to their friends, etc. With that act of good will, I have to have faith that we will be connected to someone who can help. Heck, we will even sell "ad space" on Zack's forehead for the right price! (kidding!)


Please consider helping us with a posting chain. It won't cost anything and has the potential to make a HUGE difference in a young man's life.


xoxo
Becky

A Mom's Mom....

I deviate, today, from my dyslexia rants, to tell you about someone very dear to me. My Mother-in-Law was one of a kind. She passed on last week and, while I am heartbroken for those of us who are left behind, I am so happy that she is no longer locked inside of the physical body that betrayed her for so many years.


I remember, quite clearly, the first time I met, Mom. Dear Hubby (DH) brought me home to meet her while Dad was at work, so it was just the three of us and the adorable cockapoo, "Cupcake." Mom was very subtle in her appraisal of my appearance- just a quick glance up and down. The only other thing I remember is that when we left, she said, "I hope to see you again soon!" Misguided and young as I was, I thought it was my sparkling personality that won her over. As it turns out, DH had brought home a few women that Mom didn't care much for (she called one of them, "The Amazon"), and she was glad to see someone else, LOL! Regardless, just like that, I was relieved and felt welcome even though we'd only been there for half an hour. That pretty much sums up my relationship with Mom. She never met a stranger- taking in strays (animals, family friends and future daughter-in-laws) treating them with dignity and respect, always making sure that they were well-fed. 


This is not to say that she didn't make me crazy. Of COURSE she did- that was her duty as a mother-in-law! However, she was always well-meaning and I eventually learned to nod, smile and then do what I pleased (generally discovering that she'd been right all along, darnit.) 


Below is the small piece that I put in her memorial booklet. I put it here on my blog to honor her memory, publicly (for the 6 people that read it, LOL!)

Trying to summarize Mom in one neat, tidy paragraph is nearly impossible. Very early into my “Laczkowski experience” (and it has been an experience) I learned that she was never without words- even if she had to make them up. My favorite "Patsyism" is probably "discombooberated" which is loosely related to discombobulated for the rest of us. I can honestly say that my Mother in Law was probably (after my own parents) the most important teacher I have ever had. While she relished in telling me how things should be done, the real lessons I took from her, came from watching how she conducted herself in daily life. Here are just a few of those lessons:

1.     It is important to laugh. A lot. A WHOLE lot. Especially when what you really want to do is cry. Even on her last day on earth, Mom turned tears into laughter with just a word. She knew that laughter could make almost any situation better.

2.    Marriage takes cultivation.  It was rare for Mom to say "no" to a request for watching the grandchildren (much to Dad's chagrin.)  She would often say that date night was very important because it kept the relationship alive. After all, if you don't feed the relationship, "when your kids grow up and move out, you won't have anything to say to each other."

3.    Life isn't fair. I spent (too) many years lamenting about various issues in my life. Mom would always lend a sympathetic ear, giving kind responses, find humor in the situation but in the end, she would find a way to gently (or not) remind me that life isn't fair and that I seem to be getting along just fine, so, I should probably just get over it!

4.    Kids are pretty resilient- parenting doesn't come with a manual, but it's pretty tough to get it wrong if you're using common sense. Her favorite story, on this vein, was the time that the pediatrician came to the house to check on, newborn, Jay. He watched Mom timidly change a diaper and, frustrated with her delicate touch (she said she was petrified) he picked Jay up by the feet and swung him back and forth a few times, proving that the kid wouldn't break. 

5.    You can teach an old dog new tricks- IF the dog wants to learn. I knew Mom for 20 years and for the first 17, or so, she was a smoker. For her, smoking was more than a habit, or even an addiction. Somehow, smoking was associated with stability and calm, for her. Of course, it was the bane of the family's existence- it made our clothes smell, our eyes burn and we had the urge to step out for fresh air every 10 minutes. There's probably not a person here who didn't "suggest" (or beg) that she stop smoking, but she was adamant that she really enjoyed it. Fortunately, two years ago, something changed for her. After an intense hospitalization, she decided to quit…. Cold turkey. And that was it! As far as I know, she never had another cigarette. Of course, she did not magically become a well woman, but she stopped having coughing fits and her overall health did improve. Most importantly, I believe that quitting gave us an extra year with her and that gift was priceless.