Beg, Borrow and Steal (& a CSE Update)

Parenthood is such an adventure. Our parenting styles differ as much as our personalities. Reflecting on my parenting career, I think about the "burning" questions that people have asked, such as, "are you going to find out the baby's sex," "Do you have a birth plan," "Cloth diapers or disposables," and my favorite...

"What would you do without or sacrifice for your child?" Throughout my kids' lives, I have given up the obvious things: alcohol during pregnancy, sleep (while nursing,) trading quiet time for back to back soccer games, etc.

It really wasn't until we started down the road of getting Zack diagnosed with dyslexia that I really understood what it meant to sacrifice for my child. As a teacher, I am used to being grilled by parents and being in the "power position." As a teacher, I always wanted my students' parents to be involved in their child's education. Of course, there were times that a parent crossed the boundary between reasonable request and petulant demand but, even then, I was glad that they cared enough to seek me out.   Our school district is supposed to be one of the best in the area, but they were very resistant to the idea of testing our son. I won't re-hash it, but if you are interested in reading about that experience, you can do so here.  When I was in the "parent" position, it was very difficult for me to ask questions, seek support and, in the end, make petulant demands that my child receive the services that he deserved.

Now, I find myself in the least "comfortable" parental position ever.  I know what he needs. I know where he can get it. The only challenge that I face is a matter of finances. Neither P nor I come from families of wealth. I teach in a public school system that has not given teachers a "raise" since 2004- and even then it didn't make up the gap since the previous raise in 1998. I LOVE my students, but the pay does not give me great joy. P is self-employed and that means that our monthly income can fluctuate quite a bit. And, frankly, there has yet to be a month where we say "woo hoo, we have EXTRA money this month!"

So, here I am, looking down the barrel of four years of tuition at the school that will most benefit my child. I have asked myself, "what are you willing to give up/do for your child?" And, I feel like I have failed, before I've even gotten started. The annual tuition is more than I make, before taxes, annually. Even if P made the SAME amount that I do, we wouldn't have that much left over for tuition. The school has been generous with their financial aid, effectively cutting the tuition in half. Even with that generosity, we are looking at $2,000 per month, plus miscellaneous fees of about $3,500 annually. What would I do for my child? Anything. I have worked in an after school program. I have TRIED to get a job teaching summer school. I sell things on ebay. I sell things on Craig's List. I coupon to the point that we don't pay for toiletries. All of those things are good. But they are not enough.

I find myself envious of Z's classmates, whose families pay full tuition and even some who have more than one child at the school. I am angry at, what I perceive to be, a convoluted financial aid program at the school.  I filled out the paperwork. I turned in our tax returns. The magic financial aid website said that we should be able to afford "x" amount, but we are now expected to come up with 6x that amount. I want to stomp my feet and shout, "It's not fair!" Then I hear my own voice saying to my children, "life isn't fair." But, I also tell them that "Fair is not when everyone gets the same thing. Fair is when everyone gets what they NEED." And, by golly, Zack needs Gow.

An education at Gow is, as one friend put it, a game changer. It isn't a matter of life and death, but it has the potential to alter his life path, significantly. So, what will I do for my child? I  will beg, borrow and steal for him. I will take to the internet and pester every organization that I can find to give him a small scholarship. I will ask my friends to give $5 and spread the word of our mission. I will do ANYTHING  within my power to get him what he needs. I will HOPE. I will have FAITH. And, I will LOVE him unconditionally with the expectation that others will follow my lead.



PLEASE. If you are reading this blog (and I know there aren't many) PLEASE share this information with your friends. Help Zack get what he needs. His future depends on it.

His fundraising website is here.

Thank you!!!

UPDATE: On June 19, 2012, we had our annual IEP meeting with Clarence. They have come a long way towards meeting Zack's needs, but still aren't where they need to be to give him what Gow can. Unfortunately, they are not obligated to meet that standard. They are only obligated to provide him with a "Free and Appropriate Public Education." With their current offer/plan, Zack would get adaptive technology and resource room. He would have consultant teachers in the core classes and they said that they would give him an Orton-Gillingham program, daily. The O-G program would probably be Wilson or Sondae, both of which are good, but they don't even hold a candle to the RL program at Gow. Unfortunately, because they have worked to meet us halfway, we do not have a legal case against them. We have consulted an attorney who specializes in this area (their son also went to Gow) and they agree that it would not be wise to pursue a suit at this time. Our best option, for district reimbursement, would be to let Z go back to Clarence, watch him fail/lose ground, and then file suit for reimbursement. That's a big gamble to take with his life and we want to avoid doing so, if at all possible.